I have to tell you that after 43 years, I have never had a vision like I did tonight while I was sleeping. I think that it might be the result of coming to a cross roads in my life and deciding what direction I need to go in. So here it is for you to read and decide. Or maybe I am just crazy.
I would have thought it was a dream at first but dreams have never been this real for me before. After I had this at about 2343 I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was so happy and baffled at the same time. Before I get into the meaning I have assigned to it let me explain it the best I can before it slips into the mist of my memory.
The dream started off in what I could only imagine as either Pueblo or ABQ. I was walking along in a dilapidated part of town however I noticed there was an old huge water slide/entertainment/skate park. Now it was very old built solid with those kinds of big smooth bricks that you find in old schools and the windows the same with those big aluminum framed windows with dusty screens. Anyway I found out there was a competition there and I decided to partake. This competition was stupid I walked from the bottom of the water slide up to the top of this hill and it was a very long hike. I would land up going up and down this huge water slide about three times. So somehow I had clothes on when I got to the bottom. I would change back out at the top.
When I got done competing it was strange, there was a building surrounding the upper level of the water slide. It is all the same style architecture, old 1970’s school big brick. Like the middle school that I attended. I am walking around and there are a few people there and I see that it is messy and crawl across a few tables to clean up old magazines and such. I guess this catches the notice of a guy that for some reason reminds me a lot of Samuel L Jackson in Django. Except, he is wearing one of those 1970’s plaid suits. He tells me come with him he has something to show me.
We are in this same dilapidated neighborhood. But there is a hill with this huge imposing series of brick buildings. I mean these buildings are clean on the outside. They look like they could be some kind of old apartment buildings. Two of the huge buildings are bristling with balconies and what not. You could tell that they hadn’t been inhabited for a long time. But, they weren’t ruins either. After we pass by them there are two smaller buildings behind them. By small I mean the front buildings were maybe ten stories and the others where about half that.
We go into the bottom of one of the smaller buildings toward the back corner of this huge complex. It is full of life on the bottom floor. It seems that he is going to take me on a walk of what I could only describe as some kind of clinic with a lot of sick people laying down and sitting in the waiting room. He tells me, “It’s my mission to take care of these people.” So I respond, “Okay”. I don’t know why he is showing me all this. As we were walking up to these buildings I start to have this feeling that all of these buildings can be restored to their former glory. I mean these buildings although run down I could tell that they had potential. When I say I felt this I mean I felt this in my mind, body and soul. As if this was a fact that could not be disputed. I have never had a feeling like that before in a dream. I mean that feeling was concrete. It was like I was watching a panoramic drone shot of how huge these buildings were and I didn’t see them as run down but I could see and feel how they were going to look.
For some reason we walk to second floor of the building that we are in. I am by myself on the second floor and I get to the last room of the floor and I look up and there is one of those firefighter poles going up three more floors. And on the next floor this same guy I am talking to and peaking over the edge, asks me if I like this place. I am respond in the affirmative. He is like that is good because I own all of it. My heart almost stops. I am like how does this dude own all this. He tells me if I want I can live here. I respond, “Hell yeah!”
We leave this building and we are walking in front of the other three buildings and it is clean but urban and the bottom floors are filled with those two story glass window all the way across from beginning to end. We walk in and out of them and look at a few of the units. There are people living here and there interspersed in them. The plumbing is running and there is light but these are run down but somehow solidly beautiful under that brick work. It as if my view keeps switching between aerial and where I am standing.
At this point I am jabber at this man that I can make this place beautiful again. When I am saying this he is telling me, “You can do it and you will do it. I believe you will.” He basically tells me to get it done. Not with a mean tone but as if he has complete faith in me and my vision of not what this place is but what this place could be. Not that kind of weak condescending type of agreement when he says what he has to it is as if he believes me the same as I believe in what I am seeing and saying. I am so touched by him telling me this I am balling my eyes out; these are tears of overwhelming joy. It was as if years of pain and self-doubt were lifting from me. That the horizon was clear and that there was nothing but infinite beginnings and ends. The only thing that I could feel is joy and love. As if I could feel how everything fits together perfectly.
I woke up from this dream at 2343 and would you believe it if I told you that I was actually crying. My eyes and pillow was soaked with tears. However, as crazy as this may seem I know that tonight that the universe had something to tell me. That as much at some points in my life I have failed to believe in myself and my vision, the universe has never lost faith in me. I couldn’t go back to sleep after this and had to take a shower and seriously think about what had just happened and write it all down. I have lived my life everyday sometimes to my benefit and sometimes to my detriment by my own internal script. I have seriously doubted myself and seriously had fits of over confidence as well. I knew after this dream that I had just been touched on the shoulder and reminded that I can never stop believing in my vision. No matter where it leads me.